Come on, White Jesus...

What is a matter, God? Is this how you get your jollies? The founder of Popeye's Chicken died this week and then God goes all Killy McGee and takes the inventor of the Egg McMuffin, too. With all the totally deserving douche bags in the world, why take these two truly great men? If the founder of T.J. Cinnamon's (Pecan Sticky? WOW!) dies tomorrow, then I am going to seriously look at my religious affiliation.

The King and I

So there seems to be a stink about Lebron James and Gisele's cover for Vogue. 3000 and I have been talking about this for the longest time. WHY DO ATHLETES NOT HAVE P.R. GUYS? There was Portis and his pro-dog fighting last year. Then, there was Micheal Vick's lawyer and his "spring training" comment to the media, which might have been only second to Drew Rosenhausenfeldgoldman's apology on behalf of Terrel Owens. With that being said, how is it possibly that the one of the top athletes in the world can allow this cover to go through and not even think about the ramifications? I think one of the worst things about it is the fact that it is the first time a black man has ever appeared on Vogue and this is what they come up with. Real nice.

I Own You, Luis Castillo.

I had my rotisserie baseball auction this past Sunday. And I think I did fine, but not awesome. This is the 6th year in a keeper based salary cap league. There are 14 teams in it, so players in general are short. The closest I have ever finished to the top was 6th place in the league's third year. My team's name was "Crazy Legs Santo". How deliciously off color! Here is a little recap of my picks. I had 11 positions and $118 to spend. I was in the middle of the pack as far as money was concerned.

1. Luis Castillo ($6): I needed a 2nd baseman and he has been amazing consistent every year. This is actually his third go round on my teams. I got him for about $10 less dollars then I thought he would go for. I was pretty excited. But it was the 1st hour of the auction.
2. R. Pauilino ($1): Not the best catcher available, but extremely cheap. And from what I have read about him he really wants to play better this year. He lost 15 pounds in the off season. Not steroid pounds, just Frankie May pounds. I got a dirt cheap catcher and at this point I am way below what I thought I would have to spend. I have 9 players and $111 to spend.
3. G. Maddux ($11): Yes, he is old. Yes, he doesn't get K's like he used to. However, he gets W's, has a low WHIP, and gets to pitch in PETCO for half of his starts. This is his second stint on the Wake County Militia. I expect him to not suck and just be solid.
4. R. Sexson ($10): I had just lost out in a heated bidding war to get Travis Hafner. I got all the way up to $42 and just could go any higher. I needed a corner infielder and took Sexson based on reports that they are trying to shorten his swing. He should be good for HRs, but I know his average is going to suck. That being said, $10 for a guy who has 30-40 HR potential is pretty good.
5. T. Gordon ($10): My league is crazy for closers. Eric Gagne went for something like $25. Joe Nathan went for $30+. I have Brad Lidge on my team, but he is shaky at best ever since Albert Poo-Holes hit a HR that hit Brad Lidge's car in Tropicana Field's parking lot. Also, Lidge is banged up for the start of the season. This was a no brainier insurance pick.
   
6. Jack Cust ($15): J.D. Drew had just went for $20 dollars. I needed an OF pretty bad, because Alou is hurt for a month and most likely will be hurt again. Jose Guillen is suspended for the first 15 games. The need was crucial. Cust hit 26 HR last year and just turned 28. He is solid, but not outstanding. I like this pick.
   
7. Lyle Overbay ($4): He has been on my team every year. I released him before the draft because He was going to be $30+. He is not worth that much. So, I through him out into the FA field. He hit .240 last year, but was a pretty consistent .300 the three years before that. With Vernon Wells hopefully coming back and with Scott Rolen in that lineup. I expect him to come on back to form. Cheap, too.
8. David DeJesus ($12): It is the 4th hour of the auction and I am getting bored as hell. I needed another OF and at this point DeJesus was the best available. My other backups on my team are Johnny Gomes and Chris Duffy. They are good player who are not guaranteed playing time. I needed a guaranteed player. DeJesus is playing for the Royals this year. I could see them being a nice offensive team and putting an 70 win season up. He should be good for average and the randoms steal.
9. Tony A. Pena ($5): A young closer for the Diamondbacks. I think people were running out of money and just didn't want to risk it for an unproven closer. He throw hard and Arizona is a decent team. I consider this the steal of the draft.
10. Felipe Lopez ($15): The SS pickings were super slim. I lost out on Furcal and the draft was coming to a close. I needed a SS so bad I could taste it. That taste? Felipe Lopez. I thought, "He wasn't as good a Zendon Hamilton, but what the heck." He was an All-Star two years ago until he start playing for Nationals at Sirhan Sirhan Stadium. The new field should help his numbers. I paid a bit much for him, but I had the money. So, out comes the wallet.
11. Rick VandenHurk ($9): A f*cking Dutchman! I needed a back up SP and I was looking at Daniel Cabrera. That should've been a warning to me that 5 hours is too long for a baseball auction. This kid that I was picking on most of the past six season put this name out there for $1. I was bored, tired, and felt like being a dick so I outbid him. I had no idea who he was. I did some research on him and I kind like him. He is a little young, but when you look at someone like Matt you realize that the Dutch age really quickly. You have to use them really quickly, before they expire. Again, I paid a bit much for him, but I had the money.

Five hours later, I go home and give my life a serious look.

What the George Lazenby?

So, Daniel Craig, aka the man who gives hope to all men with bad teeth or the British, is going to marry Satsuki Mitchell. I have no idea who she is, but this photo of her is straight spooky. She gots them crazy eyes. I may not know how to maintain a long term relationship or even talk to a woman without saying "Drop them" at the end of the conversation, but I do know crazy eyes. Daniel, those eyes are crazy. Those are the kinds of eyes you see when at 5 am staring down at you when those eyes are holding a tile saw near your little piggies. I am just warning you, 007.