I gotta take a leak...

...so the Mitchell Report do leaked. Thus killing the nine hours of coverage that ESPN was planning on doing to show each player one by one. On the list were a couple of surprises. Wally Joyner? I mean, he came out awhile ago, but still. His name is WALLY. The one that was really no shock but was Brady Anderson. I hated Brady Anderson. His one season where he hit 50 homers was one of the biggest blinking lights that players were using steroids in the MLB. I have not been to many major league games so I remember my experiences quite vividly. My father took me to see the Red Sox-Orioles game back during that Brady Anderson freak season. We stopped off at a McDonald's up by out hotel before that game and Robbie Alomar was getting drive thru in his black Mercedes S600. Cool, right? We had really bad seats at Camden Yards. We had to take an escalator to them. To this day, I have never had to take an escalator to seats at a sporting event. So we are on the 300 level concourse and there is a gift shop selling Orioles shwag. Hat, mini-bats, and jerseys. There in the middle of all this was a poster of Brady Anderson, like this one. My Dad, never one to mince words, sighed "What the hell is this crap? Son, you're a Red Sox fan, right?" I agreed. He looked relieved.

Please Stop...

I absolutely hate this guy. This is Colin Cowherd. He is the Summer's Eve of sports talk radio. I, for the life of me, have no idea why he is on nationally. Who actually tunes into his show on a daily basis on purpose? I can understand Tony Bruno (Why does he sound like he always is finishing off a sandwich when he talks?), Jim Rome (Is that Jim Everett hiding in the bushes?), and Dan "ESPN can suck my bowls!" Patrick. They have their market and they put together a good show that I laugh at easily once every time. First off, he sounds like he is still waiting for his other testicle to drop or his mom is late picking him up from soccer practice. That doesn't help. Two, he negates all that says within a two week period. Example? A-ight. He start of the season saying he didn't think the SEC was all that quality of a football conference and that Les Miles should not be talking about USC schedule like he was. Um, zuh? Recently, he was talking about the down fall of the PAC-10 this season down the stretch. Double zuh! Also, his show about as well planned as one of my radio shows from 2003. I am only guessing, but I think the production notes go something like this:

• Pick the opposite view of every sane sports fan in America for one topic--->Top of the hour.
• Talk about how you are right for that same one topic----->Next 2.5 hours.

The things about the other sports jocks is that they take phone calls. The dude-che is on for 3 hours, except where he get preempted for Jim Rome (HA!), and he take maybe two phone calls. I am sure his producer screens the buh-jesus out of them, too. Because, it is always some guy who agrees with him...WHY ARE YOU CALLING A SPORTS TALK SHOW TO AGREE WITH SOME GUY? Come on! In a perfect world, Sam Elliot would have a sports talk show. In a perfect world.

Victoria's Not-So-Secret

...I mean, what the hell was that crap. What was that really the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? Two shit-tastic performances by Seal (neither of which were "A Kiss From A Rose" or "Crazy") and the return of the Spice Girls (when did Posh Spice become the ugly one?) were not enough to kill horrible long angled shot of women in what might be considered underwear. Here are the camera shot synapses:

1. Long range as the girl walks down the runway.
2. Weird low angle that shows that freaky runway walk they do, but not much else.
3. Right as they turn they do a close up on the model's face as she makes some crappy wink or something and then....
4. Long range of the model's shoulders so as not to upset fatties, closet cases, and Baptists (who don't wear underwear because Jesus didn't).

What in the Sam Houston State is going on CBS? Are you really all that chicken? I can see more on any given episode of Asi Es La Vida any night of the week. I have a feeling this has something to do with Tyra Banks's old shows. Homegirl was a-jiggling! Now those were the days.