Blog Bombed!

So, did anyone see the effin' comment for my last post? How does this happen? How could I stop this? I feel like Jodie Foster in The Accused. Well, not really, but I am pissed off. I am talking about a world tragedy, and some phucker is trying to sell me furniture. That is just wrong.

Fuck Germany: Part III

So, both AH and Matt got in their respective licks on Germany's response to the Katrina situation. Well, now it is the man with no political knowledge and taste's turn to poke at Germany. Their new paper ran this article. I am assuming the French are too busy trying to figure out how to pick on its homeland's population of Muslims. The Germans were planning on sending over troops, but that was back in 1944. The Spaniards are too busy dealing with the American hippy population on their shores. The Irish are drunk. The Dutch are concerned that all that water will mess up their wooden shoes, and they are stoned. The Portuguese are waiting for someone to come and visit them. The Italians need more razors to shave their women's upper lips. The Czech need more razors to shave their men's backs. The Polish have lost most of their submarines due to a faulty screendoor (I know that was cheap). The Swiss have a neutral stance on human suffering. And, the Swedish have decided the Bikini Team could only help a small percentage of people. Overall, like in all America's times of need, we gotta do it ourselves.

Try new Duff Dry...

Let me preface this by saying I did not watch any of the VMAs last night. I did, however, catch Hillary Duff's pan-face on it though. She looked about as healthy as Lin-Lo did, not very. I want to say she had a glow about her, but she just looked all around greasy. Now, I sweat. But, I am a 200 lbs. man. She is a 87 lbs. girl wearing next to nothing with makeup people to tend to her every glissen. What is going on Hollywood?! Also, Matt, her music has a strong pull to National Socialism. Deal with it, and join my campaign to rid the world of these people!

Radio Killed the Video Star...

As of 9 AM (EST) Friday, Rochester is back on the radio! I cannot wait to make sweet sweet love to all of my dozens of listeners earholes. You can listen to me at you office or home personal computer thanks to this. You can also send request via this Al Gore invention called the internet. So please do. And in honor of my return to the radio I will randomly quote the Ol' Dirty Bastard:

• My beats are slammin from the rugged programming
  My man Bob Marley hey my man I'm Jammin
  You could never touch the stamina, while I'm rammin the
  Hip-hop crowd makes me rrrah rrrah rrrah
  Other MC's got flipped with the ease
  Beggin me for burnt cigar, stop the music please
  No, cause I'm a PRO, rap to the conVO
  Make a crowd say HOE, at a strip SHOW
  Represent, my name is Ason, keep calm
  Rhyme's too smoky, funky like a stink bomb
  Boom! Blowin up niggaz better than pullin the trigger
  So you betta run for covah!
  Niggaz better loosen they ass, felt the glass
  A forty ounce bottle, yo yo yo yo money yo pass!
  Woooh-woooh-woooh! I sweat it live
  MC gonna live God? No, the nigga die
  The max-imum of MC's are populating
  The min-imum of those MC's are dominating
  Now all and together now, to what what who?
  Rhymes come stinky like a girl's poo-poo!
  

Comic Book Guy: Revisited

So, at the beginning of the month, I decided to post something random on this international comic book nerd's blog. I had no idea what language it was, but I was posting in the Lord's language, English. Well, as expected he erased my comment (READ: FASCIST). I revisited his blog today and decoded his savage tongue. It was Portuguese. You know from Portugal, the European country no ever wants to go to. Using BabelFish, I found out what he said in response to my comment. For the record, my comments were about home improvement. His response was:

• It is incredible as still you obtain to arrange time to place a critical one here. Thus it is that it is!
• Or in his crude language: É incrível como ainda consegues arranjar tempo para colocar aqui uma crítica. Assim é qeu©!

In all my infinite jesterful knowledge, I will now use BabelFish to translate Comic Book Guy quotes from The Simpsons in Portuguese, and taunt him a second time. This also bring up an interesting question, "Why does the world hate Americans?"

Looking for a Friend?

Well, Annie and Angry Hippie, I found you one.

So...

...does anyone else have an erection yet?

A quick explanation...

about the title of my last post. HERE! In a related story Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Chris Simms admits to never seeing a woman naked. Bucs in 2005!

Ron Mexico

In a related story, thousands of legal immigrants are sitting in air-conditioned embassies and immigration offices, sipping on Diet Cokes, and waiting for their papers to be stamped.

GO PACK!

I think Lee Harvey Oswald and that U. of Texas Watchtower dude were on this team, too. Thanks, Chuck Heston!

Things that make you go "Hmm"

I have been watching this on television all morning. The protesters seem pretty upset. They are getting nasty an violent from what I saw on the television. So, they are mad because they are being forced out of their homes and what they perceive as their rightful land, and now they are getting nasty and violent. Let's all just think about that for a minute and say "Oh, I get it."

Welcome to Wake County!

Now get the f*ck out! Matt made the move to Wake County this past weekend. Don't worry, I am planning to jump him into the Militia later this week. But, he can always check for sex offenders living around him. Looks like a good neighborhood, until....

Melodrama Battle Royale!

So, I was up at 1 AM last night and I ran into an old friend on PBS, EastEnders. It had been a long time but the elements taht made me love her orginally were still there. I don't know if it the fact they most of the people look like me (READ: not television attractive), the fact that they have a beer anytime of day, or the fact that the letter "H" doesn't even exsist in speech over in Albert Square, but I just love it for the drama. I caught myself yelling "DAAAAAAAAAM!" over and over again. Which brings me to the ultimate point, can The O.C. stand up to EastEnders in "DAAAAAAM" dept.? Matt, before you go all Matt on me, give EastEnders a chance. Also, Melanie is hot.

TV is my only true friend...

...and it is betraying me on a daily basis. I was watching E! last night when Howard Stern should've been on they had on their new reality TV show called "Kill Reality". The jest of it is they are making a slasher movie with reality TV "personalities". I only know the people from the Real World and one chick from Survivor. I caught the show right at the moment when Jenna Lewis, the one girls I know from Survivor, is having a really tough time with a scene they requires nudity. That's when it all hit me. The internet has been good for two things, eBay and all its awesome shoes, and porn. I remember hearing about a sex tape she had leaked to the 'net. Now, the question is, "Are you really having a hard time doing this scene, Jenna?" She didn't seem to have a hard time having oral sex and spitting its result at the camera on that tape. So, I guess my point is this. If you name your kid Jenna, she is going to be on film somewhere doing something degrading. So, keep you eyes peeled, Matt. She (check out the bra!) could be next.

It is true...

SO TRUE!

A Global Freak Out!

I got a wierd vibe up my ass and decided to surf the blog-o-sphere. My goal was to find as many blogs in a foreign language and make comments on them. It sounds weird but when this international comic book nerd reads my comments I think he'll look at America differently.

Why Do I Have to be Broke?

I am a sneaker freak! I love finding insane looking sneakers that make people go HUH! However, these are effin' AWESOME!