Joe Cool

I don't have a real train of thought at any moment in my life. It's like a dog and a cat are fighting in my head most of the time. That's one reason I drink. The drinking stops the fighting and sometimes it might kill a few cats and dogs. So last week when I on vacation, the cat and dog were fighting again. Then, this came out of my mouth, "If I were an eccentric millionaire, I would own a camel." *meow* *meow* *arf* *bark*

Then had all these ideas of living in some random little town in New England and I ride my camel to the town tavern. It seems completely insane, but I did a little research on it. It is totally feasible. Camels are anywhere from $3000 to $5000. Which, if you take into account how much I made last year, might as well be a $1,000,000. But, when I am old and retired from whatever I wind up doing, I am totally doing it. Oh and I am totally going Bactrian. Why? Because Bactrians Camels do it with two humps. SHIT! THAT'S GOING TO BE THE T-SHIRT I WEAR ON MY CAMEL!

'What do you mean, 'You people'?"

YES!

Richard, Richard, Richard.

As I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall a couple weeks ago, I thought "Oh ho ho! I can see Jason Segal's penis. That is very funny." Then, I saw Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, and the trend of see in male genitalia continues. I guess, penises have stopped being so ugly and become funny all of a sudden. I know that I have had the experience of women laughing when they see mine, so that kind of explains why people were laughing when they saw penises in Walk Hard:The Dewey Cox Story. That's what I tell myself. Then, I tell myself, "I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right." *sigh*