Dorm Memories

Thanks to Truck, I couldn't stop thinking about my days in the old dorm. College of Charleston was the stop. Wentworth was the dorm. There were only two dorms that held young men at C. of C. College Lodge, a converted Holiday Inn, was the other. When we walked past it we would yell "WENTWORTH BITCHES! WHAT! WHAT!" And it was Charleston in the glory days, so it was near every bar, but alas (or thankfully) I was unable to get into those bars. I never had a fake ID and I didn't have a pert rack like Truck, so those bars were a distant foreign place to me. Luckily for me, my roommate was on the sailing team. The sailing team at Charleston was a lot like the lacrosse team at Duke. Only they were not racists, rapists, women-beaters, and, er I guess they were nothing like the Duke lacrosse team. They were, however, mostly rich kids from places where sailing was a high school sport, and they liked drinking. A LOT! My roommate was the perfect random roommate I could've hoped for. He was a loud kid from Minnesota. He wore shorts the entire year, even when it was 45 degrees outside. He had never had Mountain Dew and referred to it as "Dew". He fuckin' loved it. We had screaming contests. He thought I was going to be a black kid. Because of the phone conversions we had. I said I like basketball, hip-hop and I guess he assumed that coming from NC was another black point. He was so excited he told all his white friends in Minnetonka that he was gonna be rooming with a black kid. When he arrived I had a James Brown, an Ol' Dirty Bastard, and an Onyx poster on the wall. The look on his face when my pasty white ass was lying around without my shirt, listening to "Mad Lion", was priceless.

I developed a case of homesickness and insomnia was the symtoms. I slept roughly 4 hours a night and had no real adverse effect on me. I would randomly clean the room from time to time. I mean, go apeshit. I'd fold laundry, vacuum, fuckin' dust. I don't even dust now. When we moved out, we hid our dirty magazines in the ceiling tiles. The next year, on the first day of school, we called our old dorm room and asked the kids who moved in to give them back. The kid on the phone said they were not there. I remember to this very day, telling the kid, "You just made a powerful enemy, my friend."

I can only imagine that kid roaming around campus for the rest of the year thinking some deranged porn freak was going to beat him up. Classic.