Why Tampa Rocks

1. Tampa has the best football team in the world, THE Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The only NFC team to win a Super Bowl this millenium.
2. They have awesome weather.
3. And model/teachers sleep with their students. I am not trying to make light of the fact that Debra Lafave is a sexual predator, just the same as the mustached dude in the park wearing a trenchcoat with evil on his mind and a candy bar in his pocket. They can claim insanity as a defense, but I think they would be opening a Pandora's box for chickenhawks and their weasely lawyers. The main point, regardless of whom she lured back to her townhouse of ignominy, is she was a model SLASH teacher. I do not remember any model/teachers from any level of schooling. I had plenty of alcoholic/teachers or leftist Communist/teachers, but no model/teachers. Mary Kay LeTourneau was the first one of these cases to come to light in the mid- 1990's. I thought even back then she had a certain girl-next-door quality to her, but nothing like Ms. Lafave. When I saw her pictures on CNN I just kept saying, "Oh my God!" It was the only response that seemed appropriate for how smoking she was. Even her mugshot is kind of sexy, however I do have a tiny mugshot fetish. (I blame it on Jen Capriati.) I guess the point is, she is going to get off. Hot women get away with murder. If they get 7 men on that jury, she is free to molest with a Micheal Jackson-like abandon.

These Things I Believe:

1. I believe that facts are for Fox News and The Weekly World News to work with. Opinions and rantings are for the masses.
2. I believe actresses should be either (a) talented or (b) good-looking. Therefore, Hillary Duff, and Brittany Murphy, are not actresses. Now, I know the pedophiles love the Duff, but I just do not see it. She has a pan flat face and she wasn't even the best actor on Lizzie McGuire (Gordo totally rocks). As for Ms. Murphy I seem to remember her in a little movie called Clueless, where she played the awkward and ugly Tai Fraiser. Hollywood was not typecasting her. She is ugly. As for her acting, I give you, 8 Mile. It must be very hard to play a crackhead skank when in real life she is a crackhead skank. And she is constantly gaunt. I have seen victims from Auschwitz that have more junk in the trunk. An eight-ball of coke a day, must really keep those pounds off. I think there is some weird sheet going down in Hollywood. You have to sleep with someone in order to get a career. Brittany Murphy slept with Ashton Kutcher and then she got her role in 8 Mile. Then Ashton starts hooking up with Demi Moore and they say her career is reborn. OH MY GOD! Ashton Kutcher has a magical penis. Struggling actresses start lining up, because his wang is paying out big time career moves. I cannot wait until he starts hitting Tyne Daly.

This is the beginning....

The Militia has begun. In a few days, I shall bestow upon you the manifesto in which the Wake County militia will live and work. Our work on this Earth will be legendary. Prepare for us and we shall prepare for you.