Is there a draft in here?

First off, how weird does Matt Ryan look? Did you notice when he talked his jaw didn't move, but the top part of his head did? Hmmm...


Separated at birth? I think so. Let me copy 3000 and look at how my boys did:

• 1/20: Aqib Talib, CB Kansas: He sounds ethnic and you all know how I feel about that. This was a good pick. I am sick of people saying the Bucs needed a WR. There were no WR who deserved to be picked in the 1st round this year. They were a veritable who's who of 3rd options on a college team. He is big for a CB and without Brain Kelly or Dwight Smith (please come home, Dwight) we need more depth in the secondary. Nice pick.
• 2/58: Dexter Jackson, WR, Appalachain State: I bet J-Mo can't wait to say something to me about this. And I am sure once his fiancee allows him to look at the interweb or the sports section he'll let me have it. Jackson is fast, but he hasn't really played in a system like a John Gruden offense. Just saying one of his plays is like a really shitty tongue twister.
• 3/83: Jeremy Zuttah, OG, Rutgers: I can only hope this guy turns out like any of the offensive linemen we have gotten in the past three year. Ew, but Zuttah? That's a bit ethnic, too. Where are the Smith and Jones when you need them.
• 4/115: Dre Moore, DT, Maryland: I hate this pick. Mainly because I hate all things Maryland. I can't even eat crab cakes anymore. This guy has 4th round disappointment written all over him. He got it done at the same tattoo parlor Merriman goes to. LIGHTS OUT!
• 5/160: Josh Johnson, QB, San Diego: This was kind of a mistake by Gruden. he actually though he was getting a journeyman back-up QB from the San Diego Chargers. He'll have to spend time with the other 6 QB's we have on our roster until he has matured into an old bitter disappointment. I am sure Brain Griese can help him out. Good old fashioned American name though.
• 6/175: Geno Hayes, OLB, Florida State: He is kind of small, but he comes from a great LB system. And playing a year under Chuck Amato only helped him (Wait, did I just type that?). He'll take a couple of season, but I think he is an amazing value pick this late in the draft.
• 7/238: Cory Boyd, RB, South Carolina: Spurrier RB's in the NFL? Well, there is....um....what about? Wait, there was that one guy....no...that's not it. At least this guy has off the field problems. I am sure Michael Pittman can teach him how to hit his with with an SUV or something.

I give Tampa Bay a B-/C+.

Now for the Pack in the draft, and this really shouldn't take long:

• 3/82: DaJuan Morgan, S, Kansas City Chiefs: He is really fast, but not the best of tacklers. He would've benefited staying around another year. I understand why he left, being that Tom O'Brien doesn't have much need for the leftovers of an Amato secondary, but he needed another year. He now gets to renew his old Madden rivalry with Oliver Hoyte and Tank Tyler. I am sure that was on the Chiefs mind when that drafted him.
• 5/114: DeMario Pressley, DT, New Orleans Saints: He is loaded with talent. He had two really acrobatic INTs that past year. However, he has a hard time staying healthy. He will benefit by playing in New Orleans as I find them to have a good core of D-Linemen. Not a bad pick for the 5th round.