Thanks for Nothing:

Thing I am thankful for:

• Miller High Life
• A bottle of George Dickel is still under $10
• Homeless people who have dogs
• the fact I will never own a cat, so I don't have to worry about them suffocating me in my sleep.
• Finally sneaking onto the Dean's List at age 26.
• White girls with black girls' asses (Whuddup, Truck)
• Carolina sucking through an entire basketball season
• The weather getting cold enough to make muther fuckers take off the flip-flops and put on some sneakers
• My (2-9-1) flag football team, BALCO Bartokomous.
• the fact I am gonna burn Tonsafun for at least three scores on the day after Thanksgiving flag football game.
• THE North Carolina State University football team underachieving, again.
• Tampa Bay Bucs being tied for 1st in the NFC South
• The safety in football
• Kelly Monaco
• My maroon adidas track pants
  
• Annie posting that picture of Matt riding a horse. I still laugh at that.
• Truck's boo's muscle
• The police report from when Truck gave her boo a black eye for not mixing her drink right when she came home from work. Who doesn't know the "Truck Special"? Champange and Ovaltine.
• Mine and AH!'s on going struggle with acceptance of our bodies.
  
• AH! is fatter than me.
  

Heisman Trophy Wife?

You wanna see what kind of ladies a Heisman Trophy winner is hitting? This is Matt Leinart's girl at USC. I wonder if after the sexing is done he throws up the Heisman pose. I also wonder if he has a bad sexing performance if he spends hours after hour watching film from his poor performance.

Postin' Up

My sweet Lord and savior Jesus, who will smight all my enemies and crush the international Zionist and Islamic movement, has it been a week since I last posted? Wow, time flies when you are typing 30 pages of projects and papers. I had totally forgotten how much school sucked when you take 15 hours and the professors are trying not to look like pushover and decide to dump bullshit on you and tell you it is chocolate. However, this time Thursday I will be flying to America's Wang, aka Florida, to go to the second happiest place on earth, Disneyworld. The first is Teaser's Palace over in Durham. And with all that excitement, I can tell you right now that this story did not pass me by. What the hell is wrong with bitches now a days? They be fingerbanging each other in bathroom stalls. And hot older women, who should be settling for underachieving redheads, are hooking up with 15 year olds! This is so wrong. So, if you get a chance to get into a fight with a 14 or 15 year old puck ass, DO IT! And when the police arrest you, just tell 'em he was skirting in on your squirrel!

Down with America!

So did anyone remember to vote? Neither did I. I mean, how many of these Goddamn elections are there? I wish we lived in Belarus so I wouldn't have to worry about this crap like every two years or something. I guess that is like thew one good thing about being under totalitarian rule.

Kickers?

If someone would've told me that a kicker would be making more than LaVar and Warren, combined. I would've jack-slapped them into the stone-age. But, it is true. LOOK!

Japanese people and J-Biz

One of J-Biz's other nicknames is The Polar Bear, because his hair is clear and he loves to fuck with Japanese people. Don't believe me? Check this good shit out.

Mis-labeled...

I think if anyone were looking for something else, they would be greatly disappointed by this site. Matt, I am just warning you.