"Virgins. I love 'em"

It has been 10 years since Larry Clark's KIDS was released in the theathers. If you haven't seen it, then you just do not know what a bombshell that film really was. Larry Clark, an on again off again junkie, ex-con, 50-year old skate punk, directed a movie way too real to life. If you look at the biographies of a quarter of the cast, then you see that they are dead. People thought it was a documentary. Of course, those people are idiots. The fact remains that Mr. Clark has continuously pushed the buttons of the film industry and its rating system. He currently has a movie that I honestly beleive will never be seen on American soil. Now he is back in the news for his shocking photography being shown at the International Center for Photography in (hold your hats) New York.
Let me start by saying, I like the films that I have seen of Larry Clark. In fact, KIDS is one of my all-time favorites. However, I thought that Larry Clark was pushing the envolpe in regards to how he portrays teenage sex. And now his exhibit, Teenage Lust, at the ICP (not affiated with the Insane Clown Posse) is getting flack for the same thing. Maybe I am just a bit ignorant to these kinds of things, and I can get real ig-nant on the subject of art. I can just put down all the hidden undertones of what is and is not art, but when does someone finally stand up and say, "Hey! Larry! Are you just getting off on this stuff?"
Also, if you have not seen any of Larry Clark's film, then YOU NEED TO SEE THEM! Maybe not Teenage Caveman, I am pretty sure he was on the needle for that one.

THIS HAS TO BE SINFUL....

because it feels so good. I have had a orgasmic feeling pumping through me since I heard this. Say, am I the only person who thinks Thomas, Terry, and Hansbourgh sounds an awful lot like Morrison, Capel, and Lang? My favorite lie UNC fan was saying is, "Marvin really likes school. He is gonna stay." I would leave school right now for a job that'll pay me 5% of what he is gonna get, and I actually have to do my own work. You have got to be sheeting me. I have to go to church on Sunday, because God has answered one of my prayers. Tons-a-Fun, you better go, too.

I follow the lemmings....

Matt, over at John Adam's Ipod, felt it was exigent to put out my Top 5 "Things That Are Hot, But I Cannot Get Behind" I love to complain and remonstrate, so I will drop the Top 5:

1. Rainbow Flip-Flops: I hate looking at feet. I don't understand the fetish and I don't want to have to sit a set of stanky ass feet. And, every person under the age of 29 has a pair. "I just toss my hair in a ponytail, slip on my Rainbows, and I am off the the Delta Gamma Blah Blah Roofie Cocktail Mixer." It is driving me nuts. I spend so much time trying to findextraordinary sneakers, that some one can call a brown leather tong "fashionable" drives me knuts!
2. Gray New Balance's: Much of the same reasons as the Rainbows. I do not get these shoes, which I rocked as a cheaper Nike alternative as a youth, became so fashionable with the college crowd. And, GRAY! GRAY! When I had NB's they were neon orange and navy blue. These could be the first set to us all being the same color, shape, gender, and we'll all be identified by a bar code on the back of out bald heads.
3. Jam Bands: I could mix King Crimson, Widespread Panic, and Leftover Salmon and get the same nineteen minute song over and over again. I don't think there is enough acid or mushrooms to make this stuff sound orginal to me. And, I hate it when kids call up my radio show asking me to play any of that shit. "Can you play any Widespread from before Bowser left the group?" NO! NO! NO! NO! I would rather light a Q-tip on fire and see if my brain will show up out of my skull. Get a haircut, a job, and move on with your life!
4. Cell Phones: Never had one. I know this makes me sound insane, which I am. I just don't see the need to talk to people all the time. People have made the world more uncomfortable by destotying their own private places. Also, you have no excuse for missing a call. Now, you have GPS, Internet, cameras, sporks and God knows what else on them. I though having a cordless phone was high-tech. AND, NO! I DO NOT LIVE IN A CABIN IN THE MOUNTIANS.
5. Chopper TV Shows: They have ruined the last stronghold of a true outlaw rebel culture. I know the bikes are cool, and I want one. (either a bitchin' Boss Hoss Trike or a old BMW with a sidecar) However, the bikes these guys make on these shows are sold for $50K or more. Somehow, the romance of the Hell's Angels smuggling drugs to keep afloat is lost in this one. And, I hate how guys like Jesse James are potrayed as badazzes. The guy is a millionaire. The moment you can buy a twelve pack of beer and not think about what you are gonna do for food for the rest of the week, you are not a badass anymore. All the tattoos in the world won't wash the wimp off your million dollar fanny.
   

Now, just like Matt said, "Go on and do one for yourself in te comment section."

A is for Apple....

K is for killing. Recently someone posted a comment under the yellow-bellied name of anonymous. One, please do not leave comments without an alias. It is weak and prosaic. It is also how I gauge who is reading my posts. "Anonymous" admitted to the fact that they could not follow my post about how Carolina is comparable to Nazi Germany. They finished their post telling me to enjoy my "nazi snuff films".
So, here goes nothing. I need to clear up some mystery. I do not condone anything the Nazi party has done. I do not like the Nazi party or Adolf Hitler. My great-grandparents was Czech and a Catholic, so that would no doubt ended them up in a death camp. I have multiple friends who are devote Jews or married to one. And, if anyone wanted to take them off to a death camp I would fight to the death. And they would fvcking die! I do, however, look back at the Nazi Germany space in European history with a prurient eye. I asked the same questions as anyone else, but I do not buy the typical textbook answers. And, I do repect Nazi Germany for two things:

1. An remarkable rebuild from WWI
2. Lovely Uniforms.

Also, I do not own any Nazi snuff films. All my snuff films are classy art pieces I got when I backpacked through the Netherlands. There is not even a German word uttered in it. Just a chick with big ol' knockers, wearing wooden shoes, stabbing guy's sack with an icepick. That is class.

The Fourth Reich

UNC win it's fourth national championship. You know what good for them. This was by far the worst coached Final Four I had ever seen. Pitino stays in a zone against one of the best three-point shooting teams in the country? Izzo decides to change his game plan at the half while his team was winning? And Webber thought doing the same drive and kick out over and over and over was gonna bring the trophy back to Urbana? Hey Webber, Mr. Coach of the Year, McCants was guarding your fastest player. TAKE IT TO THE FUDGING HOOP! Wow.
I know everyone wants me to fold on my UNC (player-hating). I cannot. It is hard to have hatred for a bad team. It is, so good one UNC. I mean, the Nazi had a bunch of victories early in the WWII. Let's look at Illinois like Poland, and we'll look at UNC as Nazi Germany. Wake, of course, will be playing Soviet Russia. Duke can be a bombed out Britain. And sitting across the pond in the US of A, waiting to knock out the UNC Nazi Party (which was the first thing I thought of when I heard "party on Franklin Street"), is the Wolfpack. So, enjoy it Tarheel fans, because it is only only six more months to the Normandy Invasion. And, we are gonna go all Omaha Beach on you mofos! Seig Heel!

UN (can't) C (me)

Since the day I set foot on North Carolina's clay soil in the summer of 1988, I have hated the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The first fight I got into at Seawell Elementary was with a boy who loved UNC so much he would crap his pants on a daily basis. Ironically, the second fight was with a State fan, who went all Benidect Arnold and went to UVA (aka UNC-Charlotesville). I was a Duke fan. It is tough to be a Duke fan growing up in Chapel Hill. You had to have a tough skin because UNC was beating up on Duke with frightening regularity. It really must've hurt Duke's ego as they rolled from Final Four to Final Four. UNC fans love making stuff up, mostly becuase their jobs are really unfufilling and they have plenty of time on their hands. During the season when Coach K was out with a bumb hip, UNC fan said he had fone crazy and was in Dorthea Dix Mental Hospital. However, though Duke lost an assload of games that year it was still damn near impossible to get tickets for any games that year. UNC went 8-20 three years ago. I was given UNC-Duke tickets. In fact I had to start turning down ticket because I was being offered so many of them. UNC fan is abandwagoneer. NC State had its first non-bowl season in the past five years. Yet, no one in Raleigh is calling for the firing of Chuck "The Chest" Amato. However, UNC made its first bowl in that time frame. People after the first game, a stumbling effort against William & Mary (Div. I-AA), wanted John Bunting's head on a pike. But, once he pulled a win out of his sizeable ass against one my old favorites, the Miami Hurricanes, people thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread (which is only served in two places in the Chapel Hill-Carrboro area). Oh, and Dick Baddour, UNC Athletic Director, gave him a massive contract extension. Hey, one outta four is good, if you are minor league catcher. UNC fan wanted Dick fired until he tossed enough money at Ol' Roy to get him to tell Kansas to go fuck themselves. UNC fan will say Roy came back to UNC because of school pride. Roy had so much school pride he stuck around the afore mentioned UNC-Miami football game right to the third quarter. Roy Williams is not a awesome coach. He is a fine coach. His leagcy at Kansas ain't exactly freakish. He took the helm of the Kansas ship, from Larry Brown, a year after they won a national championship. (Please note biting sarcasm) It must have been hard`to rebuild that program. (End sarcasm) Now, he is getting credit for this team. He recruited Reyshawn Terry, a liabilaty in the UNC roster, and Marvin Williams, who is so good I hope the Spurs can get him in the draft this year. But, people talk about how that team is based around the Big 3, May McCants, and Felton. That class was brought in my a now unemployed Matt Dougherty. Would he have gotten them this far? Sweet Baby Jesus only knows.