Rochester: Always on Sale in the Market

So, Truck finally cut herself loose from all that dead weight. Well, I know that Truck and I and my various internet alter egos have had out run-ins, but I think we are both adult enough to put that all behind us and look to what could be a lovely future. I drop it on you all E-Fucking-Harmony style:

1. My name is not synonymous with "Moons over My Hammy"
2. I do not smoke and never even once have I smoked a cigarette. You can lean on me for that one. I am just that strong.
3. I don't drink champagne, but I do drink the "Champagne of Beers".
4. If we combine our names like Tom-Kat or Bennifer, then it sounds like a small town in Pennsylvania. Fire-Chester. I like it. OOOOH, or Rock-Truck! WHAT!
5. I have most of my original teeth. I lost two wisdom teeth and I have one crown, but it looks kind of gold, so that's kinda cool. Right?
6. I have an awesome collection of Bible-oriented comic books.
7. I have a full head of hair and weigh less that 1/8th of a ton. I weigh 1/10th of a ton.
8. I can convert my weight into stone. I am 14 stones.
9. I don't need my ego stroked. I've been doing that by myself since I was 12.
10. My turn-ons include long walks on the beach, salmon-colored roses, sea winds, speed buggy racing, deep fried anything and naked women.
11. My turn-offs include baby blue anything, war, the Gummy Nerd Rope, and Fresca.

The weekend is here, Truck. Whatcha wanna do?