Amino Acid

So, as I was running today the only thing bouncing in my head was the beginning of 50 Cent's "At The Club". Of course, my A.D.D. self starts to think if I looked like the badass that he looked like in the video. Then, my mind starts to wander to the biggest badasses in film history. Here is who I thought up:

10. Melvin Spivey (Dazed & Confused): Also, known as the black guy. He didn't do anything particularly badass, but you know that of O'Bannon ever pulled any sheet on him. (shivers) Something awful would happen.
9. Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction): The role that defined Samuel Jackson. Badass perm. Badass sideburns. Talks like a badass. Badass gun. Has badass mofo written on the outside of his wallet. The prototypical badass, until he decides to get out the game. Quitters never win, Jules.
8. Private Reich (Ravenous): SPOILER ALERT He is dead. He is stabbed, falls off a fvcking cliff, lands on some spikes, yet still has just enough strength to try to kill the coward who didn't shot his killer. Sprechen Sie Badass!
7. Blain (Predator): One quote sums up Jessie "The Mind" Ventura's character: "I ain't got time to bleed."
6. Brian Fantana (Anchorman): "People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang. " SHO-NUFF!
5. Tommy DeVito (Goodfellas): Is that how Joe Pesci is all the time? He is half the size of everyone, yet everyone is sheet scared of him. Here's a little Binghampton family secret; I am, too.
4. Nicky Santoro (Casino): Really, the same character as above, only more violent. He'll beat or stab you with the random object of choice. Phone? Okay. Wad of cash? No problem. Pen? Sure! He is the used car salesman of ass kickings. He lost major points for whimpering like a nine-year old while he dies in a ditch. That is a a badass faux paus.
3. Sgt. Elias Grodin (Platoon): Can a badass be morally sound in the battlefields of Veitnam? Yup. Just ask the 30 or so Veit Cong that get popped in his single-handed assault on a bunker complex. In all fairness, all Army Rangers are badasses.
2. SSgt. Bob Barnes (Platoon) How do you one up a badass? SPOILER ALERT Frag his ass! That is exactly what Barnes did. He has so many badass lines from that I can't type 'em. So here is what Rhah says about Sarge Bob: "Wrong? You ain't never been right, about nothing! And dig this you assholes, and dig it good. Barnes has been shot seven times and he ain't dead, does that mean anything to you, huh? Barnes ain't meant to die! The only thing that can kill Barnes is Barnes." Delicious
1. Animal Mother (Full Metal Jacket): He would have eaten Sergeant Hartman alive if he were on Paris Island with him. His helmet has "BECOME DEATH" painted on it. He carries a M-60 like it was a loaf of bread and he wants to fight everyone, V.C., N.V.A., and Americans. Much like Barnes he has too many quotes to types, so here is what Eightball has to say about him: "Believe it or not, but under fire, Animal Mother can be a wonderful human being. All he needs is somebody throwing grenades at him 'til the end of his life. " Also, ANIMAL MOTHER is a awesome nickname.

Did I miss someone? Let me know.